As you read through the Psalms, a surprising thing strikes you. In some very profound ways, we don’t pray like the psalmists did. I don’t mean that we are working on it and just aren’t quite there. I mean we wouldn’t dare say to God the things the psalmists did. Since the song-prayers of the psalms are God-ordained worship aids and examples for us, the fact that they go places we are hesitant to follow is disturbing to us.
Let’s look at why the psalmists complained to God.
The Cries of the Psalmist
Read Psalm 88. This song by the Sons of Korah is a prayer. The psalmist starts out by acknowledging God as his salvation. However, the singer explains that he has been seeking God with little success, and asks for God’s attention. He explains his deep depression “my soul is full of troubles, and my life draws near to Sheol.” He goes on to blame God for some of his troubles, “You have put me in the depths of the pit, in the regions dark and deep… You have caused my companions to shun me.” This continues, the singer tells God “But I, O Lord, cry to you… O Lord, why do you cast my soul away? Why do you hide your face from me?....I suffer your terrors; I am helpless. Your wrath has swept over me; your dreadful assaults destroy me.” Then it closes. The psalm ends without a change in attitude from the singer.
Look at Psalm 77. Times of sorrow and trouble made Asaph the Psalmist question whether God had turned his back on them. Again he calls out to God, requesting audience. He has such persistence in prayer and seeking with anguish that words could not communicate his trouble. He tells God that it seems like God has abandoned them. “Will the Lord spurn forever, and never again be favorable? Has his steadfast love forever ceased? Are his promises at an end for all time?” He remembers the great deeds of God in the past, and that comforts him. Asaph questions this again in Psalm 74, 79, and others.
The Language of Complaint
The cries of the psalmists are not accusing God of wrongdoing. In fact, they are spoken from a position of trust and theological understanding. Fee and Stuart maintain that a position of trust in God is either stated or presupposed in the lament psalms.[i] Yet they bring their complaints before God. They complain to God. This is a key factor of all the lament psalms, which compose more than sixty of the psalms, more than any other type. Matthew Jacoby, author of Deeper Places: Experiencing God in the Psalms, has said that Christians need to learn “the language of complaint.”
This goes against everything our religious culture teaches us. Religion tells us we aren’t supposed to complain—not ever. Especially not to God! Other people complain. People who don’t “know” God. Yet the Psalmists, who boast some of the deepest relationships and most vibrant prayers to God, complained all the time.
How could this be? Well, they had stuff to complain about. Peter quoted from the Psalms themselves when he said we are to cast all our cares upon God, because he cares for us.[ii] We are supposed to be honest with God, confessing our faults and failures; telling God how we feel, and where we are in life. The lament psalms teach us that we can be honest with God. We can come to God as we are and tell him all about it.
We have to come to God where we are and as we are; because that’s the only way to come. We certainly do not have the resources within ourselves to reach a better place without God. We can’t pretty ourselves up for God—he is far too all-knowing for that sort of pretense. God sees through us at all times. He knows our thoughts before we have them; and he is the very one who invites us to talk to him about it. As Psalm 103 says, “he knows that we are dust.”
What do we gain by saying all the acceptable religious things before God, and refusing to say what we truly feel and think? How is that an honest or healthy relationship by any standard? Our relationship with God is a real relationship; and anyone in a relationship will tell you that honesty is vital.
And by “honesty” I don’t mean being technically accurate. I mean being real. If you are harboring confusion and pain in your heart over God and what he is allowing in your life, it is not honest of you to pray a theologically accurate prayer that reveals nothing of what you feel or think.
Look again at what the psalmists have said: “Why, O Lord, do you stand far away? Why do you hide yourself in times of trouble?”[iii] These things aren’t even technically accurate from a theological standpoint; yet they are profoundly honest—because the psalmist is telling God how he really feels, and what things really look like from his fallible eyes. His heart is crying out, reaching to connect with God’s heart.
Too often our prayers are less an attempt to reach out and touch God, and more an attempt to impress him by how put-together and appropriate we are before him.
Remember what Jesus said, people ought always to pray, and not to give up. He said we must keep pounding on the doors of heaven until God does something.[iv] We need tenacity and gritty realism in our prayers. We need to stop pretending everything’s fine and see ourselves and our surroundings for what they are, and pour that out to God.
It is only because they had a genuine enough relationship with God, to be honest through the hard times, that they enjoyed such intimacy with him. “Whom have I in heaven but you? And there is nothing on earth that I desire besides you. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”[v]
Jacoby explains in Deeper Places that the psalmists’ sorrow when God seemed far away was a reflection of their joy when he was near, calling joy and sorrow “two sides of the same coin.” As C.S. Lewis famously said, “the pain now is part of the happiness then. That’s the deal.”
It is only because the psalm writers stubbornly clung to him through the storm that they could say “the Lord is my refuge.”[vi] Only because they suffered honestly before him could they rejoice sincerely before him. “You make known to me the path of life; in your presence there is fullness of joy; at your right hand are pleasures forevermore.”[vii]
If we want a vibrant and deep relationship with God, we can’t hold our thoughts and feelings back from him. We have praises and requests, and we bring those before God. But if we’re properly alive, we have complaints, too, and we need to bring those before God as well.
We do not bring railing accusations against God; but at the same time, we do not understand things. We get confused and worried and angry and depressed. Bring those cares to God, for he cares for you and wants a real, deep and trusting relationship with you.
Under Grace,
John Fritz
John Fritz is the Volunteer Coordinator for Thoughtful Life Ministries and the primary author of the Thoughtful Life Journal, which is published weekly from March through September. The purpose of this blog is to challenge and encourage those who have a desire to cultivate a more meaningful walk with Christ. Visit our Homepage to learn more about the ministry and our annual two-week summer Discipleship Program for teens and young adults.
[i] From How to Read the Bible for All Its Worth by Fee and Stuart; [ii] 1 Peter 5:7; Psalm 55:22; [iii] Psalm 10:1; [iv] Luke 18:1-8; [v] Psalm 73:25-26; [vi] Psalm 91:2 (also Psalms 18 and 46); [vii] Psalm 16:11